I’m Having a Hard Time

I don’t really want to write about it or share about it publicly, but I challenged myself to create content every day for 365 days, and part of the thought behind this challenge was to develop discipline so I create even when I don’t feel like creating even when I feel beaten down, tired, depressed, lonely, uninspired- I create.

I don’t want to write or share my feelings publicly because I am not ready to yet, and posting things online has consequences, i.e. once it’s out there, it is out there, and in the case of my blog and most of my social media presence anyone can access it, which is done on purpose- I’m not trying to hide, and I am challenging myself and others to be authentic and genuine online and in real life. I hope to be the kind of person that what you see is what you get. “What you see is what you get” is not always pretty, or sexy, or politically correct, or appropriate, or considerate of others’ feelings. Hence, I am not being fully open with the interwebs about my feelings; I am just dancing in circles not really saying anything…

What I will say and did say in my first piece of content of my 365 challenge is that I am still working on determining what I feel comfortable sharing and not sharing as I am going through some stuff and do not feel it is fair to share other people’s stories when I share my own even if my sharing their story is my experience of their story, I still feel it is not fair for me to use people in my life for content (unless they explicitly give me consent to do so and even then, I am hesitant as people can change their minds.  Although nothing is permanent or forever, I treat the internet like it is- once it is out there, I don’t feel so sure I can ever get it fully back even if I delete it- Mark Zuckerberg and Tinder own me 😉 ) Weooph! I guess I had to get that all out in one breath… until tomorrow – Day 3 of 365.

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