I Burnt My Oatmeal

I burnt my oatmeal

That is what I created for day 27 of 365…

oat4      oat5      oat7

But that feels like a cop-out.

I created more than a burnt oatmeal pancake…

My burning my oatmeal made me think a lot about balance and how I compare myself to other people and never measure up.

Balance – because the reason I burnt my oatmeal was I fell back asleep and was not watching the boiling water I added the oatmeal to. This made me question yet again why recently it feels like no matter how much sleep I get, it’s not enough… am I doing too much? am I feeling depressed? am I wearing myself out? am I addicted to screens? is it that it is winter, and I feel like all I want to do is hibernate and eat? It could be all of these things or none of these things, I’m not sure…

Comparing myself to others – because my burning my oatmeal is just another example of how I don’t measure up to others… after all, I can’t even boil water without burning it, the pan, or the oatmeal I may add to it.

Then, I proceeded to watch the entire season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon Prime, which I highly recommend. It’s about a Jewish housewife on the Upper Westside who becomes a trailblazing female comic. It was inspiring and Miriam Maisel, the protagonist, uses comedy to express the unrealistic expectations put on women… to do and have it all, all while not eating and being constrained by corsets and other confining staple pieces of a woman’s wardrobe. She comments,

“So what if I work?

So what if I get divorced?

So what if I am alone?

Why do women care about how people look at them or see them?

All women.

Successful women.

Beautiful women.”

(Season 1; Episode 7 – “Put That On Your Plate!”) 

Then, she goes on to talk about the advice Sophie Lennon, a famous female comic gave her:

“She gave me a piece of advice…

She told me that no one would find me funny unless I do some wak-a-doodle character or have a dick…

Men won’t think I’m funny because I don’t look like a dump truck.

Why do women have to pretend to be something they’re not?

Why do we have to pretend to be stupid when we are not stupid?

Why do we have to pretend to be helpless when we are not helpless?

Why do we pretend to be sorry when we have nothing to be sorry about?

Why do we have to pretend we’re not hungry when we’re hungry?

(Season 1; Episode 7 – “Put That On Your Plate!”) 

Both of these quotes resonated deeply with me and angered me as the setting of this is 1958 and it’s 2017, and I feel women still face many of the same challenges today. Having to seem perfect and having to seem to have it all together all the time, having to be on top of it all the time- all the while smiling, wearing heels, and looking glamorous… Times have changed and women don’t all have to wear heels or confining dresses and garments, but women are still constricted and confined in other ways and are still held to unrealistic expectations.

I also started watching the series “Catastrophe” on Amazon Prime and one of the protagonists, an American male who impregnates an Irish women in London after a six night stand says,

“You let me put my penis in your mouth, but I can’t put my t-shirt in your drawers.”

I think I may just leave you with that quote and revisit it later. Think about it… There is a lot packed into this quote about expectations put on women …


… to always perform…

Thank you and good night.

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