I am Les Misérables

It’s Day 70 of 365, and I feel pretty miserable.

I saw Les Misérables tonight for the first time.

I feel a bit overwhelmed by choices and am trying to be grateful for those choices. Similar to Les Misérables, I feel my life has 5 different plot lines going all at once, and it’s challenging to make sense of them all.

My mood is very up and down. One second, I feel down and hopeless, and a few minutes later, I feel I have my answer and can go confidently in one direction.

As is often the case, I don’t feel like writing or producing content tonight. It’s 12:02am (so technically, it is day 71), which makes me upset and reminds me how poor I am at this whole “self-care” thing, i.e. prioritizing myself and my needs.

I wish I knew what to say and what to do, but in this moment, I do not. I feel very angry right now. I called someone I trust very much today, who maybe I put too much faith in, and what they said to me really upset me. I’m not sure if I’m upset because I disagree with what this person said or if I’m upset because I think this person might be right about an observation they made. The observation had to do with running away from something or running to something else, neither of which I think accurately depict what I was describing, but maybe they do, and maybe I am running away or to something… Like I have alluded to, I’m not really sure.

What I feel pretty certain of is something has to change, and maybe part of that something is my calling others for their thoughts and opinions and how deeply and intensely I allow others’ opinions to weigh on my own opinions and decisions.

3 thoughts on “I am Les Misérables

  1. The first time I saw Les Mis (2012), I was shocked and confused so I did not know how to respond. I had no clue it was going to be tragic and when I found out, had no clue how to respond. Prior, I thought all musicals were happy, but capable of sad so Les Mis surprised me. But despite that still started researching the musical afterwards. Than I saw the movie a 2nd chance and I was able to calm down and see so much more. Over time in 2013, I became obsessed with the musical. Than saw the stage show Nov. of 2013 at community college where I saw it once with family and twice as an usher. That was when I dreamed of seeing it in the West End and that dream came true in 2015. Last year, 2017, in November I saw Les Mis a 5th time.

    Les MIs actually turned my love for musicals into a passion. I read the book summer of 2015, teh same summer I saw it in the West End, and it took me less than one summer to finish.

    Like

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