In the blog post I published yesterday to relaunch my 365 day content challenge, I mentioned my depression, but didn’t go into much detail and would like to talk about it a bit more.
My analysis of my depression is that my depression is largely rooted in my not knowing what I want to do with my life, what makes me happy, and feeling overwhelmed.
I overwhelm myself by asking myself questions I don’t have answers to like, “Where do I want to live? What do I want to do? What do I want to accomplish? What kind of impact do I want to leave on the world? How can I make the biggest impact? Affect positive social change? Be happy? Wake up energized and excited to greet each day? Live and stay in gratitude? Not be so influenced by external things, other people, and other people’s opinions (of me)?” – just to list a few…
I also wanted to share what depression looks like. This weekend I went on a hike and picnic with some friends, and looking at the pictures you’d have no idea how much pain I am in. Even when surrounded by people, I feel sad, sometimes lonely, and this pit in my stomach that holds tension, tightness, and anxiety is still present.
Another goal of my content challenge and just the content I produce in general is to break down the walls social media builds and make social media social, a place to really connect, be more vulnerable, real, honest, raw, and affect positive social change. Maybe even save someone from themself.
What I want is to tell stories…but how? I’m not sure- that is what overwhelms me- I know I love being behind a mic/camera- I think I want something more visual than a podcast- video, sound, music, words, art, imagery, text, quotes, words & pictures… mixed media. Anyways, my hope is that this content challenge may help me explore this more and determine what it is I want, what makes me happy, and how to go after it.
Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire
Again, if you relate to any of this, reach out, let’s chat!