My Depression

In the blog post I published yesterday to relaunch my 365 day content challenge,  I mentioned my depression, but didn’t go into much detail and would like to talk about it a bit more.

My analysis of  my depression is that my depression is largely rooted in my not knowing what I want to do with my life, what makes me happy, and feeling overwhelmed.

I overwhelm myself by asking myself questions I don’t have answers to like, “Where do I want to live? What do I want to do? What do I want to accomplish? What kind of impact do I want to leave on the world? How can I make the biggest impact? Affect positive social change? Be happy? Wake up energized and excited to greet each day? Live and stay in gratitude? Not be so influenced by external things, other people, and other people’s opinions (of me)?” – just to list a few…

I also wanted to share what depression looks like. This weekend I went on a hike and picnic with some friends, and looking at the pictures you’d have no idea how much pain I am in. Even when surrounded by people,  I feel sad, sometimes lonely, and this pit in my stomach that holds tension, tightness, and anxiety is still present.

 

Another goal of my content challenge and just the content I produce in general is to break down the walls social media builds and make social media social, a place to really connect, be more vulnerable, real, honest, raw, and affect positive social change. Maybe even save someone from themself.

What I want is to tell stories…but how? I’m not sure- that is what overwhelms me- I know I love being behind a mic/camera- I think I want something more visual than a podcast- video, sound, music, words,  art, imagery, text, quotes, words & pictures… mixed media. Anyways, my hope is that this content challenge may help me explore this more and determine what it is I want, what makes me happy, and how to go after it.

Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire

Again, if you relate to any of this, reach out, let’s chat!

[Day 95 of 365]

2 thoughts on “My Depression

  1. Hi Taylor,
    I want to thank you for your transparency and honesty in baring your inner self.
    My daughter, 21, suffers with depression. You painted a perfect picture, explaining and summing up exactly how she feels. For some reason, seeing the words in writing opened up my eyes so much more. I’m still at a loss for ways to help her because she doesn’t want to talk with a counselor/therapist, but your words gave me such insight.
    I hope you have found someone you trust that you can talk to. I’ve decided to seek counseling myself because I need to talk with someone about the helplessness and frustration I feel.
    I don’t believe in consequences; I believe our paths were meant to cross. I attended the Chamber’s Social Media Best Practices event not so much for my freelance writing business but for personal knowledge and to stay up on the latest trends. Now, I know God had me there for a greater reason.
    Prayers and Blessings!
    Freda Freeman

    Liked by 1 person

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