“But, can you have guac?”

One of the things I am most self-conscious about when dating is that I don’t drink and that I don’t eat sugar, wheat, flour, or dairy. This seems to be a real deal breaker for a lot of men, whether they admit it or not, I think it is.

Today I went on a date and when I mentioned my having dietary restrictions, the first question was “but, can you have guac?,” which now reflecting on it, I find very funny. (I can, in fact, have guac.) Often, people have a lot of questions when I mention what I don’t eat. Very rarely are people unfazed and say nothing, but occasionally that does happen.

Dating is hard. Going on a date today got me thinking about dating again and how I often wish on first dates, you could lay all your cards on the table and then say, “still want to move forward?” So, for me- I guess I’d say something like “I don’t drink. I don’t eat sugar, wheat, flour, or dairy. I don’t shave my armpits, and I have a hard time trusting men because all of the men I have dated have broken my trust in some way. Still want to proceed?” My fear is there would be a resounding, “no.” But, who knows?

Another thing on my mind is stealthing- stealthing is when a man takes off a condom during sex unbeknownst to his partner. Put simply, “non-consensual condom removal” (Wikipedia). I guess how this relates to the above is that it’s another way of hiding the truth, which just seems like an all too common theme in life these days. That is a big part of what social media does, it hides the truth. I’m thinking a lot about this and want to write more on this later but for now…

Back to stealthing, I’ve been reading about it all day on Instagram on @whoregasmic’s account, an account dedicated to talking about sex and educating others about sex. If you would like to read more, visit the Instagram story on @whoregasmic’s page called “Stealthing,” where women recount their different experiences with being stealthed. It’s pretty infuriating to read.

I wish I had a lovely way to nicely wrap this all up and tie it together with a big red bow, but I don’t. That’s just it- the truth is not always pretty and does not always come packaged nicely in a beautiful gift box tied together with an elegant red bow, sometimes it is just put out there and needs room to breathe.

I would like to get back into creating content on a more regular basis again and this is my first attempt into getting back into it. What often holds me back is my perfectionism, but I hit publish on this a few days ago and am now ready to share it with the world.

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